So I am sure some of you have seen some of my recent photos. I decided to do a fitness shoot a few months ago. I had a few different reasons for wanting professional pics: Submissions to contests, branding for my athlete page, etc ,etc...and I wanted to include my son.
Here is why:
There is a struggle many women face...mothers I should say. We live in a very judgmental world, unfortunately, and let's face it...you will NEVER please everyone, and I TRULY hope that is not your goal! Nonetheless, we grow up with a certain set of beliefs about what it means to be a Mom. I even hear it now from some younger friends or family members when they refer to others' lives or styles. "Oh, well she's a mom, so she doesn't care anymore." Or "Well, she's overweight, but she looks great for a mom!"
It's true...we are held to a lower standard as moms. And it isn't in a negative way...and truly it usually works in our benefit. If we have a loving, well-behaved child, and manage to leave the house with a matching outfit and mascara on, people are pretty impressed. ;)
However! It teaches girls to expect less of themselves when they become mothers. If we believe our bodies are "ruined" after having children, we will just give up. Now, let me be clear...while I am referring to our appearance, my concern is not with the vanity aspect. It is the trickle effect that happens because of that...how it then effects your confidence, your sense of identity, your health!
There is sometimes this underlying judgment people have of "fit moms". Somehow believing we are more selfish than others...less "momish". There is nothing selfish about setting an example to take care of yourself! I believe I am doing my baby boy good by showing him that his mommy and daddy love exercise, and make it a priority! He learned to count by doing squats and jumping jacks with me...and I think that's pretty awesome! ;) I still spend the same amount of time teaching him and playing with him, cuddling and telling him how much I love him. I just have less down-time. My "me" time is spent preparing meals, or working out...when it used to be having a glass of wine on the coach. (I still do that every once in a while, don't feel bad for me. :P)
It's a matter of valuing your life...no matter who you are, how many children you have, etc. Loving your life and taking care of it is so important for everyone in it.
So, now I want to share with you a story that also influenced this photo. This was a conversation that made something click in my mind...something that made me 100% certain I needed my voice to be heard.
I was in line at Target, with my son in the cart. He was about 15 months old at the time. I was in gym clothes and sneaker (which I usually am). There was a girl in the line next to me, probably about 22 years old. She said, "Is he YOUR son!?", with shock on her face. I replied, "Yes he is" and smiled. Her response, while flattering, left me thinking for days: "Wow, you look so great! You have such a nice body...I would NEVER guess you were a mom."
Of course I smiled and said thank you, because she was paying me a compliment. But seconds later, I actually felt guilty for being flattered by that. Is it really that shocking to have a nice body and be a mom!? I felt bad for every girl in her 20's worrying about the day she will become pregnant and "never be the same". I couldn't even count how many times I was told those EXACT words while I was pregnant! "Well, you'll never be the same...but it's worth it!" And yes, if I was never the same again, of course it was worth it!! Being a mom, raising a child...all of it is incredible, and truly has nothing to do with whether or not you decide to be active and healthy!
But why does that sentence have to be drilled into our minds those 9 months before you have a baby! Why are we brainwashed to believe it's not even worth trying!? It all just made me sad... If we give up on that, we give up on so much. And I don't mean we need to strive to be on the cover of a magazine, or win bodybuilding competitions! I just believe we should all be striving to stay healthy, mind and body.
It was hard to get back into a routine of working out, don't get me wrong. I didn't want to take my son to a daycare, and my husband works horrendous hours! But he knew how important it was to me, and his support and flexibility made it possible. The first few months after having my son, I hardly exercised. I was overwhelmed, impatient, depressed, negative, and so anxious...I remember sitting on the couch after my son went to sleep one night and actually having a hard time remembering the last time I really laughed at anything. It was time to make a change. So instead of going to a doctor, I went to the gym... 5 days a week. I worked hard, I felt the beautiful effects of the endorphins, the dopamine, the seratonin (Sounds like I was taking drugs right? Honestly, it does feel like a high.) I started sleeping better, feeling energized and positive...noticing the sunny days and appreciating them instead of complaining about the rain.
My husband and I were ourselves again..joking, laughing, truly enjoying life together. I was able to focus on how amazing my little boy was, instead of how overwhelmed I was by him, or how terrified I was of him getting sick or hurt. It's really amazing how much of a positive effect exercise has on your entire life.
So...in short, this photo, for me, represents the idea that we, Moms, can work on being better...physically, mentally - whatever we need to feel like US, to feel happy and confident...and it doesn't take away from motherhood...it adds to it!
"Your children will become who you are...so be who you want them to be."
<3 Renee
fitmodmom@gmail.com
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